Ouch, it hurts. It stings bad, really bad. 1:4 odds weren't good to begin with. Never should have bothered taking a risk. Too late now. It hurts and won't stop.
2001.03.20.08:17
Self destructive behavior is stupid and dangerous, but always seems like a good idea at the time.
"Life is pain, your highness."
2001.03.20.11:58
Okay, depression, rage, rational thought and acceptance, and back to anger. I feel so damn stifled right now. My eyes keep bugging out too. [...]
"And you just don't get it..."
[...]
Realization... losing hopes/wishes is a lot harder than forgetting doubts/fears.
During my rage period, which may not really be over, I made some use of my broadsword to put a goodly dent in a 486 case that had the bad luck to be nearby. I almost took a mighty swing at my steel shelves so i could watch them buckle and get bent to hell, but then I stopped. I'd rather hack up things I don't care about. Hmm.