I remember when I used to have lots of trusted people I could talk to, so when I had an issue, I could take it to an uninvolved third party and get unbiased advice. It was so much easier because I had an outside perspective on things and I didn't have to deal directly with *everything* myself. I realize I don't have that anymore, at all. I think I lost it about 6 months ago. There's a handful of people I think I could talk to if I had to, but I don't think they'd overly care anymore, and I wouldn't feel comfortable taking the things I need help with to them anymore anyway. I'd feel like I was dumping my issues on them and wasting their time. The thing is, I don't remember why I trusted certain people or why I felt like I could turn to them back then and why I can't now. I still trust them, but there's distance. I feel like if I tell people my problems or ask them about my issues, they'll take it personally or just plain not understand. Yes, this is whining. It accomplishes nothing but maybe garner a few comments from people saying they're there for me. But it doesn't change anything, they might really mean it, but that doesn't mean *I* feel like I can turn to them. I wonder how I can find those people again. I wonder if they're really lost or just misplaced temporarily. Or maybe I just doubt that my problems, issues, and questions are worth taking to anyone, maybe I should just ignore them. Maybe I just talked myself into silence for a while. Maybe.

even if you don't trust me anymore i still know what you are talking about. :-P

i will always he here for you to talk to :)

I know what you mean about it being harder to talk to people than it was before....I've noticed it, and have seen comments in mine and other's LJ's about much the same thing, so in that regard you're not alone. I'm prolly just as guilty as anyone of being distant, but tend to be kind of shy anyway, but I can usually listen, if not much else. *HUGS*

Speaking solely for myself mind you, I'll have a gas on this topic.

I'm a caring, giving person. If someone needs to talk, I'm always there for them. If someone needs cheering up, I do my best. And while I'm not whinging, I don't always get in return; and usually not when I need it. As a result, I tend to pull back and retreat from people for a while. If they don't talk to me to see what's up or what have you, then I let it go. I figure they've got better things to do in their lives, they've moved on - so maybe I should too.

And that leads to barriers. It's inevitable. But everyone does it. I mean, once that initial distance is there, it's hard to get the friendship back on track to where it was before. Too much effort, too many presumptions on one side or the other.

I'm just blathering, but it's a start to my thoughts.

well meddie, if there's ever something you need to just spout off about, i'm just about always around. feel free to talk to me if you need someone. =P

sweetie, i'm not sure if you'd want to talk to me, but i certainly would not think it whining, and i would not be annoyed or feel like you were dumping anything on me. i know we've both been rather on the busy side of late - or at least i know i have, and i must apologize for being a rather sucky friend of late. *hugs* whatever it is, you know how to find me if'n ya want to, k?
hugs love.

I haven't really had anyone to talk to about things for a long time either. I also rarely feel like my problems are worth bothering anyone over. I usually just keep things to myself, and trust that things will work out in the end.

However, I did recently have a problem I needed to discuss with people, so I just started talking. I asked for advice from people I had began to feel distanced from, and from people I barely knew. It was actually very rewarding. I don't know if people felt I was bothering them with my problems or not, but nobody made it feel that way, and talking to people again really helped me feel closer to them, even if just for a little while. But more importantly, it helped me figure out who I really could turn to again in the future.

As for people not understanding... I don't think anyone really understands anyone else anyway. I've yet to find someone who knows exactly how I feel, or can understand me completely with just a few words. Even the people I'm closest to sometimes misinterpret, or need more description than I am capable of giving. That's normal. Sometimes though, those minor misunderstandings are important in bringing new views and opinions on a subject, or making you look at things in a way you didn't before.

Just find someone to talk to, and talk. Even if it doesn't feel right at first, it will soon enough. There are lots of people here who are willing to listen. Myself included.