"I enjoy feeling sad sometimes," says Jimmy Gnecco, frontman for Ours, "because at least then you're feeling something - you know you're alive."

Tomorrow I might lose my job. Some stupid girl down in Human Resources noticed my recent lack of hours (a student assistant gone during finals week? No way!) so tomorrow my boss, and another lady are going to fight to keep me I guess. I have to go in on time for once. Whee.

I have my cam on, did last night too. Fixed my LJ to point to it's current location since it's old location died and is gone for a while. Also took out some bag HTML I think in my lastn and friends styles. Should work on my calendar style someday.

No updates on IRC stats for #soulxchange on irc.sanitarium.org. I'm not bothering witht hem for a bit. Summer is nice enough to be trying to buy us a registered license for mIRCstats so we can do more cool stats. The registation process is poo though and they aren't emailing her. Feh.

Been adding new commands to the Bawt I run on the net mentioned above. Since it's for #soulxchange, I've added commands so it works with the soulxchange.com web site. %souls reads the index page and spits out the number of users on the site. %soul <idnum> reads the soulstats page of the user specified and spits out their name, price, owners, and points. %rank <rank> spits out the name and points of the person in that rank in the top 100. %price is just a toned down %soul, giving only the price of the ID specified. I think there's some others, but feh.

The other day I wrote a perl script to download mass quantities of LJ entries from talkread.bml. I couldn't find any way to find the itemid of an entry that had commenting turned off. So I took the itemid of the previous entry, and the itemid of the entry after it, and grabbed all those in between. Ended up being 21 megs worth but I found the one I wanted. I hope my little 56K didn't hurt the poor servers. :P I should make it delete the unwanted entries as it goes though since it searches for the text specified as it goes and it knows which are no good by the time it closes the file handle. wget is fun.

I have chest pains right now. Couldn't sleep last night, kept waking up and dozing off sporadically. Mom suggested seeing a doctor about my sleep problems again. She also went off on me for everything else. I need a new car, I need money, I need to pay them for my loans, I need lots of things. She actually said at one point that you need money to have fun... umm, yeah. She keeps bringing up how my dad could any day now come home and say he's not working anymore and that they're moving to live up at the cottages up north. I said that'd be cool. Mom doesn't think that's so cool if it means selling our house because neither me of sis can buy it from them. She wants to keep it in the family I guess since we built it. We ended up working out that I could live on my own with my current income if I didn't go to school anymore basically. $169 a month left over after everything else considered I think it was. Thanks mom. My back hurts too, a lot.

I have my 64 ounce cup full of water with a slice of lemon. Yay for minimalist survival.

I need to work on the laptops I was given (old compaq's, no cd-rom, just floppy, only came with PCMCIA modem cards (19.2Kbps ones), only command.com exists on them, etc). They were donated to the high school by EDS to give away to Seniors on Senior night Too bad they're pieces of shit. The mouse is a trackball that's mounted *next to* the screen on the top half, witht he buttons on the *outside* of the case behind the screen. Yeah. If I don't lose my job tomorrow, I need to borrow the external CD-ROM from work to install windows on them, or else find a way to do a network install. Bleh either way. Otherwise, the two lucky winners get them as they are which I know won't do them any good.

Just watched Last of the Mohicans. Listening to the soundtrack now. I love this music. My nickname "Medlir" came from the book "Ships of Merior" by Janny Wurts. The first book in the series, "The Curse of the Mistwraith" is the first book in the Wars of Light and Shadow. The entire time I read the first book one winter in high school, I was listening to this soundtrack on my little tape player. My poor cassette is old now and worn out. Mom bought me the CD one day not long ago just randomly, it was awesome. Hmm, maybe I'll drop what I'm reading now and go re-read Curse of the Mistwraith now.

I need a haircut. Bad. It's getting warm out and my hair is too long and is starting to curl. Bleh.

I haven't slept in my bed in weeks now. Only once, a few nights after, since we got the couch here in our room. I need to clean off my bed. It has cables, and PC cards, and papers, and fruit, and printers, and floppy disks, and CD's, and more.

So much other crap going on it's ridiculous. Band Banquet last night, sis' boyfriend has his graduation (GED) tonight, graduations and open houses this weekend, last weekend we spent at the cottage. Actually had a fire and made smores the one night I got to stay. I could kill my brother for that. Instead of a long 3 day weekend at the cottage, we had to stay and go up saturday and then I'm forced to leave at 2PM Sunday after only 19 or so hours there because bro wants to be back for a movie mom said he could go to. And then we get back, and they decide they're going tot he 8Pm show instead of the 4:30Pm DESPITE the fact that we asked if they'd do that ahead of time and they said they "couldn't" and "can't". I could wring their necks. But while there, we played Destruction Derby on N64 a bit. Dad made a bunch of cool things. A loveseat/gazebo thing that's cool as heck. Planter boxes for the seawall. A cool fence for mom flower garden and a trellis. They're all awesome. He made new stairs fro my grandparents trailer up north too. Next long weekend, I'm staying up there as long as possible.

Dreams... not many lately. I had a few but forgot them and it bothers me still. I think i could pull one back out if I really thought about it hard for a bit, but I don't think i could get it all back now. Feh. Sleeping on the couch probably doesn't help.

Me and bro watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on my laptop on the way up north on Saturday. I love the movie, but damn that ending sucks I think. Bleh. I need to watch it a third and more times to catch more though. Only watched part of it the first time, and was driving during the second time. :P

I should probably try to sleep now since I'm supposed to be up in like 5 hours or so. I'll leave the LotM soundtrack on repeat though, and try to read my book for a bit I guess. Bleh.

.: currents
:: mood( sad and tired )
:: music( Clannad - I Will Find you )





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